Connection
by Ruru Kitsuneko
Summary: [Summary Changed] OneShot of Episode 46 dedicated to DearkaMiriallia fans. Didn't you guys just hate the fact that they didn't show anything else besides Mir standing at the door to the dining hall, and Dearka just brooding away? Here's to those who think


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Seed or any of its characters—but that doesn't stop me from wishing I was one of them… Athrun… Kira… Dearka… Yzak…

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a one-shot fic of what kind of interaction Dearka Elsman and Miriallia Hawe had in Gundam Seed Episode 46. (To those people who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's the episode where Kira cries on Lacus' lap and Cagalli leans on Athrun's shoulder.)

CONNECTION

By: Ruru Kitsuneko

The automatic door to the dining hall in the Archangel slid open and Crewman Miriallia Hawe paused for a moment, gazing at the tired looking profile of former ZAFT pilot Dearka Elsman, as he sat all alone at the farthest corner of one end of the tables.

Inwardly making a decision, she walked towards him.

"Hey, there," she greeted lightly, her pretty face softer and her turquoise eyes gleaming with more compassionate empathy—for what, she had no clue as of yet—for their former enemy than she herself realized.

The corner of Dearka's lips quirked into a tiny grin as he slanted his gaze towards the girl standing beside him, and answering with a "Hey, yourself."

Taking a seat beside him, she asked softly, "Are you feeling alright?"

Dearka gave a wry laugh. "Let's just say I've had better days."

"Is it," she began hesitantly, "because of what happened in the Mendel Colony?"

Dearka's silence was her answer.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she prodded. "It's alright if you don't want to talk, I was just—"

Dearka's hand settling on top hers stopped the rest of her sentence. "Thank you," he said softly.

"Oh," she said, slightly breathless at the warm feel of Dearka's hand on the back of hers.

"I," he paused for a moment, "want to tell you." He laughed wryly. "It's funny isn't it: I don't feel right telling this to anybody else, but it feels right to me to tell _you."_

Miriallia turned her hand over so that her palm met Dearka's. "I guess it's a good thing that I'm a pretty good listener," she said with a slight smile.

"Yeah," he said with a slight smile of his own, giving her hand a slight squeeze. "I met my friend Yzak Jule back in the Mendel Colony."

"The one who was piloting the Duel?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered, confirming her question. "He called me a traitor," he said flatly, which somehow made the words more starkly emotional than if they had been said with any heat.

Miriallia placed her other hand on top of their clasped once, unconsciously wanting to lend her warmth to the chill she could see behind the shadows of his eyes. "When he said that, pointing a gun at me, I realized" —he paused to swallow inaudibly— "how bad everything had really become."

Miriallia maintained her silence. For what _could_ she say that would be sure to comfort the Buster pilot? Nothing. All she could do was be there and listen—for as long as it took: which was exactly what Dearka needed.

"I can only imagine how hard it must've been for Kira and Athrun," Dearka murmured in a pained voice.

"That doesn't mean it was any easier for _you,"_ Miriallia chided, empathy reflected in her turquoise eyes.

"I know," Dearka replied. "But still… It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "But in that moment, I knew—no matter how hard it was—I was making the only choice I could have made: the right choice."

"It's pretty brave of you to give everything up to follow the path you believe in," Miriallia said, sincerity in her voice.

"I didn't," Dearka answered, abruptly.

"What?" Miriallia asked startled.

Dearka paused to think about his instinctive answer for a moment. "I didn't give up anything. Not anything that wasn't important, at least."

"I see," Miriallia said. And she _did_ see. No matter how ZAFT would see Dearka Elsman, in the eyes of those people who could clearly see what was happening around them, he was no traitor: he was a hero. "I'm glad you feel that way. I know it's hard to decide which path you're going to follow, but it's even harder to take a step forward towards that path, and to keep going, especially when it becomes harder to see the rest of the way."

"How very philosophical of you," he teased, his pale lavender eyes twinkling.

"Are you teasing me?" she asked, her turquoise eyes narrowed slightly.

"No, ma'am!" Dearka said quickly.

Miriallia huffed impatiently. "I thought I told you: my name is—"

"Yes, Miriallia?" he asked, staring at her, a serious look in his eyes.

Miriallia stared back at him. And for a while, they seem content to remain as they were: Dearka's hand clasped between Miriallia's slender ones, and their gazed locked with each other, as if connected by some invisible thread. A thread that started to bind them, since that fateful day…

Dearka broke the silence. "By the way, thank you for everything you've done for me," he said offhandedly. "I don't know if this'll make sense to you, but ever since you came at me with that knife, and I saw you crying over the loss of someone you loved—even if I'd never met him—I felt a connection to you." His gaze slid sideways. "It didn't matter if you didn't feel the same way."

Miriallia stared at his face without saying a word. She didn't want to say anything. Saying something would either tighten or break the thread of connection that had winded between them.

Dearka continued unaware of Miriallia's turbulent thoughts. "You'll find this funny or stupid, but: I'm very glad you tried to kill me that time in the infirmary."

For several heartbeats, Miriallia was silent, then, "I'm sorry about that. But," she removed the hand that was resting on top of Dearka's and lifted it to clasp the side of his face. "Did I ever tell you: that I'm glad I didn't succeed?"

Dearka's eyes widened at the tender gesture. He gazed in awe at Miriallia's face and saw her beautiful turquoise eyes glistening with unshed tears.

He lifted his other hand to the hand that was tenderly caressing his cheek. Turning his face, he pressed a light kiss to her soft palm, and the tremble than ran through her body, seemed to run through him as well. "I think you just did."

AUTHOR'S END NOTES: I hope you liked it: romance and all! I was pretty quivery by the time I finished the fic. I planned to post this one before I started my other GS fic Twelfth Night, but even though I got all the dialogue done first, I still hadn't filled up the descriptions yet. Thank God it turned out even better than I imagined it! I hope you guys find it believable. I had some debates with myself whether I would make it shorter or longer in lieu of the Kira/Lacus, Athrun/Cagalli interactions, but I finally decided to make it somewhere in between. Reviews would be welcome and appreciated! Thanks!


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